I am proud to announce that...

Has now attained backing from the 

Things are really looking good at the moment so please wish us luck, we have a 'big presentation' coming up next month!

Also please contact us if you'd like to get involved in any way shape or form ;)

Peace!

call me a keyboard warrior...

"cos I might hit him in the head with a keyboard" - Wiley Mike Lowery Freestyle

Is an appropriate quote for this post; recently Shelly Marie, the 'Capo' of the Sound Freakz team that I now write for expressed her concerns regarding my safety. 

She (quite logically) has recognised the possibility that my frank manner of both dialogue and critique could get me in trouble at some point down the line - thing is I'm more than just some writer or blogger.

I'm 'from the bits', thus I have got a notable set of 'grapefruits' which are often the reason I wear my trousers below waist level. I am indeed from the bits, many MC's still know where I reside and I am not moved by the idea that I could upset anyone more than the idea that I could inspire many.

Fact is I ain't scared of none of you *******, not more than I want to write anyways.

This brother...

Is making a lot of sense...

He's definitely a speaker after my own heart and overall he has a strong point "build it and they shall come".

So this is out to all my real movers and shakers, 'bun an imageting' and don't even think about the money as an endpoint, payment is a byproduct of business it's not as important as what service you're providing so don't think about cash as much as you think about adaptability initiative and confidence.

Eitherway, this life is for the schemers...

Are you...

on cheap drugs!?!?!

is a question I often find myself asking the world.

Today I feel like that qusetion must be asked of the writing team for Eastenders...

Like honestly, who comes up with these storylines???

It's a given that we want to be entertained and enthralled, that every cliffhanger should be meaningful, ideally the nation should hold there breath every time the 'Duff-Duff' theme at the end plays - leaving us ready to collectively exhale upon the start of the following episode.

I think we easily forgive the fact that it's an absolute 'stereotype orgy',
a place where the most permissable Black characters are not to be seen without a rum in their right hand,

a place where the muslim family is so 'haraam' that their residence might as well be made of Bacon

 and a representation of youth that not even spifftv.com could match for 'scumminess',

   I mean the last time I saw a group of teenagers or young men in the show they looked like they'd ordered their bandanas (in bulk) online.

But even by Eastenders' standard the most recent storyline is a little bit tongue through cheek...

I mean...
Dead baby swap yeah?!?! Whose bright idea was that? 

Who exactly was it that thought - 'this is what they have all been waiting for'??

A cot death storyline is enough, superimposing a baby theft or swap storyline involing probably the most loved couple currently in the show is overkill, that's not even a matter of opinion - it's a fact.

Mercifully the storyline has been visibly cut short.

I dunno what the next development is going to be but it's quite telling that the resolution was so abrupt, personally I can't remember another time when I've actually seen a show get so many people up in arms, and although I can't remember another storyline which had roadguys trying to reason with my television like

"Arrgh just llow it maan, give the girl her baby back, whats wrong with you lot???"...

That's not a good thing

Fact is we all like a good cliffhanger...
but not necessarily when there's also a dead baby dangling - so not cool!

Fine!?!? Fine then... but you didn't find an easy fine.

At around 8ish this morning I had a run in with an 'undercover enforcer' for Newham Council,who attempted to fine me

£50 for littering.

I must state at this point that I was not...

fly-tipping,

or throwing a half eaten panini at a Community Support Officer.

He caught me dropping a cigarette on the floor...

In my defense there's no 'fag-bin' on the wall, so I'd never really thought of an alternative.

Anyways,

the way the whole situation transpired was really quite surreal

(maybe because I had pretty much just woke up),

 he stopped me and pulled out his Council Badge 

which just happened to be official looking to an unnecessary extent, adorned with some coat of arms and i'm sure meant to intimidate as soon as revealed.

He explained that he was fining me for dropping my butt on the floor and emplored me to give him my details. I was in the process of creating false information to give him, when all of a sudden I felt this immense disdain towards the idea of having to invent some pseudo-persona and accompanying information to give this man.

I told him "... Actually, no..."

and he was a little taken aback, I think partly by my defiance and the contagiousness of my morning-stupidity but I had to ask him "Sorry... you're going to have to walk me through this again"

and he was like "I'm fining you because I just watched you walk up and throw down your cigarette butt"

so my response was "Why didn't you stop me!?!"

to which he said "Why didn't you put it in the bin!?!"

I was like "A lit fag in the bin? C'mon there's not even a cigarette bin here what do you expect?"

to which his implausible response was that firstly we're responsible for the localtion of cigarette bins and furthermore, that I should've dotted the butt out and "Put it in my cigarette box"

by this time I think communications had broke down because he reverted to asking for me details.

He certainly wasn't happy when I told him "You'll just have to phone the police",

 but the fact is his attempt to scare me by mentioning the magistrate didn't work, So we were at the kind of stalemate that can only be resolved with police intervention.

Still, It brought real Christmas cheer to my heart getting to tell him "No, and it's ok... I have a blog!"

the last time he asked "what's your date of birth" 

adding that I could "Complain after providing my details".

Eventually he let me go, as not only would it've been time consuming to detain me, but also'people like myself' clearly weren't the intended target of the 'mornings operation'.

These two council officials were there to try draw money out of the people on the way to work. Which is quite sad seeing as they'd've been better placed gritting the dangerous pavements so these same people could get to work and generate income for the local area.

I know the countries broke, but the local authorities could at least have some class to their money making exercises.

For me,

today was a remarkable

and frankly I'm disappointed!

Him is called di wah!?!

The 'Crossbow Cannibal'...


my initial response to that name was what we would call a 'plainface' - blank, expressionless and decidedly unimpressed. Please pardon my unmoved state, maybe I am just part of the generation many experts has claimed is 'desensitized to violence' but the fact is, I was very much underwhelmed.

My Sister and I actually had a conversation on how much of a person you actually have to eat to then classify yourself as a cannibal (I'm sure you'd have to eat far less for other people to give you that title).

Either way, one thing I believe to be sure is this.
There is nothing worse than an ill-conceived decision to start a career in 'Serial Murdering' (I wrote that because it sounds wrong lol) only to be stopped early and sent to prison after the world sees you going "I don't know" when asked why you did what you did.

I mean... No movie-like scary over intelligent riddle!?! No laughing madman remorselessness!?!?! No!?!?

Actually not at all, just the buffoonish fumbling of words that was plastered all over today's news. Furthermore, dudes going to have a really difficult time doing his bird. For a start its an albatross rather than a bird of generally smaller size. Plus his crime is one of those ones I'm sure they make your life a misery for committing.

I don't believe the 'Crossbow Cannibals' name will live on in any kind of infamy. Not to mention its a really shit name isn't it!?

15 Minutes of fame. Along time in pen.

Best wishes to the families of the victims

ARE YOU...

ON CHEAP DRUGS!?!?

Is a question I often find myself asking the world,

 and many of it's inhabitants.

Today that question is levied at the daughter of

Dave Batista.

Answer me this - why would the daughter of a man so clearly bovine (he's differently 'wenny', his tattoo is probably bigger than my arm) attempt to infuriate her father with such a half-assed publicity stunt.

For those who don't know

Athena Batista, the 18 yr old daughter of Batista has released a sextape of herself and boyfriend Justin Miller on Worldstarhiphop.com.

Really... she should be learning how to do something useful from her father, so she can have a healthy and respectable career of some description, kinda like...

Jayden and Willow Smith,

 who have both been busy making moves.

Rather she has gone the route of deplorable

Montana Fishburne,

who decided to soil her fathers illustrious and well-respected career by recently being feature in her own sextape with one man pornographic g-unit tribute act Brian Pumper.

It's not a good look out here...

and I really hope that everybody gets an old school beating for this sh*t.

I mean fact is, if you're givrn ANY legitimate legacy in this life, you should show gratitude rather than the arrogance it takes to taint anothers hard work like that!

I really hope both Athena and Justin, get some of this...

because both of them violated thoughtlessly.

And furthermore they plan on release more videos...

Priorities...

Are a really funny thing.

The more I look at the world we live in, the more I feel many have their priorities incredibly skewed.

I must say I'm a misanthrope at the best of times, but in my defence it's not me - it's people, sometimes they're just utterly disgusting.

I don't know if anyone elses 'maths' looks the same as mine, but this weeks events have gone a long way towards gently rocking my face from side to side in a disapproving manner.

The Nobel Peace Prize committee have awarded Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo (in what seems to be a transparent attempt at making the Chinese look bad on the world stage),

For the record; ill-advised, ill-conceived and not that clever is my final judgement on the matter. As somebody from 'the bits' I can quite deftly say that's not how you 'drop a par', especially during the same week that it has come to light that Britain is lagging behind in terms of worldwide academic rankings

It's really hard to strike at the credibility of a person or nation when they are clearly better than you in any visible and measurable way - China came top in all the previously mentioned academic rankings.

The irony of the current political climate is profound, as all of this is happening at the same time as a lot of 'my generation' are being forced to fight for an affordable education - even though official records show we're already 'not smart enough'.

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure this one out, whilst the Peoples Republic of China are showing their aptitude on the world stage, the United Kingdom with its plump and disillusioned middle class, its increasingly alienated and criminalised working / underclass and swollen elite is looking farcical.

All I know is Camilla's face look's like she's going "What!? Are they shouting Republic!?!?"

And the answer is we probably should be, it really looks like it's us or them.

I really don't understand ideas like Royal Entitlement, but I do know that we all want education and oppurtunities.

I Double dare one of these Fat Cats to say 'let them eat cake', because a lots happened this decade. All the gullible young people have been blown to bits already, only us malcontents are still here, and frankly where itching for a fight with the holders of purse strings.

The same way you can't easily par the Chinese, my Generation will neither sit nor stand for such nonsense.

WE WILL JUST RIOT INIT.



NSPCC FACEBOOK CAMPAIGN...

I don't know how official this campaign is but it's nothing to change your profile picture to a cartoon in order to show solidarity!! 

I saw it on someone elses status 

Change
your facebook profile picture to a cartoon character from your
childhood and invite your friends to do the same . until monday (6
december) there should be no human faces on facebook but an invasion of
childhood memories . this is a campaign to stop violence against
......children by the NSPCC ! ♥

and thought why not eh!? Sounds like fun!

I picked Hong Kong Phooey still!!

Although, I was very tempted to draw for the 

 

Bloo from Fosters Home for imaginary friends (Original Badman ttkk)

But then again, there are soo many to choose from!!!

Anyways, if your not participating...

I wish genital pneumonia upon you and hope you get varicose veins in your face you ill for your obvious ignorance!

Back from the Dead...

I don't deal with rumours...

slander maybe, but not rumours - it's not Gossip Season!

The last time I checked (or anyone did for that manner) www.spifftv.com was DEAD...

I'm happy to say that spifftv just told me on twitter that I should...

check the life support machine again 

before talking funeral arrangements and florist discounts (pulls the 'Man a Gyalist' face)

Anyways www.spifftv.com is officially...

 

BACK FROM THE DEAD!

Requiescat In Pace...

SPIFFTV.COM

Whilst nobody that isn't close family knows the cause of death at this moment in time, the assumption is that the demise may be somehow related to Internet Gangsters.

Internet Gangsters have been an increasingly bigger and more worrying problem here on the many 'e-streets' that make up the 'world wide interweb', and although no e-bullet fragments have been found - I can confidently say that there is either blood on somebodies keyboard, or SpiffTv bandana overdosed (OB'd).

I really hope there is some kind of inquiry, 

but at the same time I won't be surpised whatever the end verdict is.

Eitherway, we will all dearly miss u Spiff and hopefully lessons will be learned, Like:

Too much Gas and (fake) Grease may just kill your poor website.

Rest in peace Spiffy 

*sheds tears* 

Now how will anyone see Johnny Gunz spray bars

Remember, Remember...

 

 the Fifth of November,

The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,

I know of no reason

Why the Gunpowder Treason

Should ever be forgot.

 

It's The  5th of November again and a brilliant time for us to be reminded of the efforts of a man such as 'Guy Fawkes'

Snm 

I Have it on Good Authority that....

God doesn't like...

UGLY!

Another 'Monster' It's always ironic still, 

every now and then, one of these cases pop-up and shake society into a state of hysteria,

(even though society lives in a state of perpetual hysteria) 

"Omg,.. it's not just hideous men that abuse children, eevel women do it too!?" 

cries the 'Common Consensus',

as it rushes to find both reason and solution for the new perversion of civic society,

that has just reached visibility.

Society definitely has it's major problems, and although I will try not to drown you in dialogue...

Two things I will say are this: 

A) All of the cosy idea's of who does what crime and who perpetuates what moral ills mean nothing in the real world.

B) Ill-conceived idea's of how to weed out such dangers aren't likely to help. Banning Mobile phone's from Nurseries is a backward step in terms of risk-aversion, for it will remove the expedient communication provided by such devices. Whether it be inside the actual schooling setting or on the road (where field trips etc take place), I fear that the lack of a Mobile Phone is more likely to put children at risk than protect them. Furthermore, the lack of such equipment doesn't mean such abuse will not take place, it will simply make it less detectable should such a thing happen again.

it's all peak eh

As you may or may not know...

Weezy is out!!

Yep! 

You heard it here (probably far from) first, Mr Carter has officially been released from 'Bing' over at Rikers.

I dunno 'what man did' as soon as he got released, 

but I assume it was probably what every 'badman' and 'G' does when they leave 'Pen'...

OMG Famalam... Let's go shopping!

INDULGE IN RETAIL THERAPY!!!

TTKK

Anyway, here's a bit of 'Weezy Season' for your perusal and educatainment (yes, I did make that word up):

Firstly, some new sh*t from Broken Equipment, (them dudes that made 'Dipset the Movie')...

them dude's have got jokes!

Anyway, you know what Wayne does, whether it's grease...

Or something with more insight...

 

Weezy is actually 'that guy' and it's good that he's back on road!

Next point of call should be for dude to

PHONE WILEY ALREADY!!!

 :*

Hangtite TFL...

The employee's over there are striking from tonight and throughout tomorrow.

Although they aren't able to give a full and comprehensive idea of how many service's will be disrupted, 

here is the information they did share online -

Tube strikes are BS, from time them lot are paid Noiicely - it's a 'BALE FACE' ting

I was considering getting up to BrainLokk MC's radio show, 

but West Ham to Harrow is peak at these times lol!

I will update with any more news as it comes in!

All Hail Bale (aka Excuse My Yiddish pt 3)...

All anti-Spurs talk will earn you a swift...

BALE FACE!!!

Excuse my Yiddish but... F*ck off, what can you lot tell us man!?!?

WE JUST BODIED THE EUROPEAN CHAMPS AT THE LANE!!!

Internet on the tube from today!!

http://www.lbc.co.uk/internet-on-the-tube-from-monday-31924

Alcohol 'more dangerous than Heroin'...

According to a report co-authored by former Govt Adviser Prof. David Nutt,
alcohol is more dangerous than (amongst other things)
Heroin.

Here is a little excerpt I took from online:

o_O

Wow... I shall say no more!

Marvin Henry Update...

As you may remember, In Tea and Biscuits part 3 I spoke at great length about the murder of Marvin Henry.

According to the BBC there has been a development in the case and a 21 yr old man has been charged with murder. It also states that the other 11 people that were arrested have been bailed until late November.

I have little knowledge regarding this case, but hope that justice is served quickly enough.

Once again, RIP Marvin Henry.

Au revoir Belle Amie...

The girls are gone! Won't say that much about it... What I will say is you lot are on twitter are darkside.

Hangtite everyone sniping at Katies 'appendage'!

Personally I never clocked but here's a photo-comparison...

Maybe it is true... I won't quote some of the slurs I've read (such as 'Aardvark gyal'), 

lets hope she can take it on the chin,

Enough of the jokes now though...

Anyways chin-up luvvy, you made it through alie!?

What more do you want!?!