Missing...

I really must stop being irratic. I'd prefer to flow with euphimisms such 'eccentric', but the reflection staring back at me is that of a monster; an espresso guzzling calamity of ideas tapping away at a keyboard as cigarette smoke dances to the sounds of vibrant indie music.

It's likely Two Door Cinema Club will be my band for the summer, my professional careers status is less tangible.

In terms of physical progress, my skills have steadily improved, the problem is I need to come out of cave mode.

Since I stopped consistently blogging I've mainly been bolstering my skilss as an graphic artist. I swapped updating facebook statuses for sketching at every oppurtunity, everytime i've turned on the computer recently its been to finish panels for my webcomic rather than to blog.

Posting no longer feels like second nature... but hopefully it's like riding a bike, because fact is Bizzy Dots back.

Your dreams are sweet and obsessed...

A lot has happened in both THE world and My world since the last time I was 'in the office'.

There's a lot I have to get through as I get back up to speed, but lets start with lyrics: namely 'Ize of the world by The Strokes'

This song is my life story

I think I know what you mean but watch what you say
'cause they'll be try to knock you down in some way
Sometimes it feels like the world is falling asleep
How do you wake someone up from inside a dream?

Your mind would wander and searched for its place in the night
Your body followed this feeling like following light
Once that your music was born it followed you 'round
And then it gave your activities meaning and let you be loud

You're sad but you smile
It not in your eyes
Your eyeballs won't change
It's the muscles around your eyes

An egg to fertilize
A pulse to stabilize
A body to deodorize
A life to scrutinize
A child to criticize
Young adults to modernize
Citizens to terrorize
Generations to desensitize

You're dreams are sweet and obsessed
And your overworked
You're overtaken by visions of being overlooked
How disappointed would D.(ead) I.(dealistic) D.(esperate) I.(nventor) P.(ioneer) P.(hilosophers)
Be to see such power in our hands all wasted on greed
Am I a prisoner to instincts?
Or do my thoughts just live
As free and detached
As boats to the dock?

Just like when music was born
And detached from your heart
Is your free time to free minds
Or for falling apart?

Night after night
You turn out the light
You don't fall asleep right away
"Are we... are we done?"

A desk to organize
A product to advertise
A market to monopolize
Movie stars you idolize
Leaders to scandalize
Enemies to neutralize
No time to apologize
Fury to tranquilize
Weapons to synchronize
Cities to vapor-i       

Poetic injustice...

I was thinking about the kitchen

playing with words

tryna mix 'thirsty' and 'hungry'

I came up with 'thungry' at first

 then realised

'hunger' and 'thurst' obviously makes hurst

yeah

I think i should go to the kitchen

Hiatus...

I must admit... I've been 'gone for a while now'.

The last time I posted something on here was weeks ago, and that was lackluster in comparison to my previous workrate...

All I can say is my head hasn't been in the right place

Life's tough at the best of times, and it doesn't help when you're in the habit of sabotaging your own life. In the last 3 yrs I have fallen out of contact with my ex, as well as lot of family and friends. You can't blame anyone else for things you're responsible for, so I've been down without any way to get it off my chest. No one wants to be around 'the vacuum in the room'.

Even though I've put myself in a better career position than I could've imagined years ago and I have a great Girlfriend who's also been a great friend, I'm stuck always reminiscing about her.

When there's only one person you really want to speak to, and you can't, it's kinda like being...

 

Lost in space.

It's all good though, I've kinda come to a point where I finally feel like I have some understanding of the way my actions impacted her, how it felt to be perpetually seeking the attention of someone so clearly lacking an understanding of how you're thinking or feeling.

It's learning curves and growth init, I'll be the first one to admit guilt - It's all actually my fault.

All I can do is live and learn, things are good right now, even if I'm not. I'm on my grind and quite a few things have happened since the last time I posted a blog.

Home Straight...

Ok!

We're officially getting close now - 

It's just over a week until the Newham Classic 10k and things are gathering pace.

We still have to get t-shirts printed...

which will look roughly like this

and although in terms physical fundraising things are going well,

online fundraising isn't getting off the ground as quick...

The Barnardo's site has had two donations, but the Care Leaver's Association hasn't had any as yet.

With only 7 days left until the big day, it's more than time for us to both intensify efforts and also encourage people more to give.

So here's the truth - you can afford to give

All too often "We buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't like." which is pointless, where as giving to charity is sensible and will also make you feel good!

It's been a weird 24 Hrs...

I've seen or heard from a lot of people that I ain't in close contact with,

which is perculiar... but not in a bad way.

I understand, we're all busy tryna be who we want to be!

This one's for all of the people I know or knew...

It feels like spring, so it's only appropriate to send warm wishes through the air.

Much love to all of ya!

Just because you're paranoid...

doesn't mean they're not after you. 

A memorable lyric from a well known Nirvana song. It's relevance right now is that I have the feeling my work is being imitated, to say the least.

Although I have left the Sound Freakz team, the 'bio' I sent to them...

 has seemingly been imitated by them in terms of style or substance for use with another writer...

my biggest gripe is that I think it's a poor imitation, and everyone knows - it's only the sincerest form of flattery when done correctly, other than that it's more insult.

Anyways, best of luck to them - I shall be putting up the reviews I wrote for them whilst with the team shortly

CEO of Nothing...

In such a burgeoning capital city as London, one is more than likely to encounter a plethora of entrepreneurial individuals (whether above board or criminal in terms of orientation).

It just happens to be one of those things that you get used to when living or growing up here.

Having said all the above, I still can't tolerate the pretentious and self-important people amongst us who exhibit arrogance given their first sniff at some bastion of power or control.

These tiny people just want to be...

so badly it's scary.

Frankly, I shalln't engage with anybody who is CEO of Nothing tangible when I'm already Project co-ordinator of something both visible and geared towards real change.

Humility is a gift, I could never be better than anyone by the same token that nobody could legitimately be better than me, I don't do this to elevate myself, I do this ultimately because it's one of the things I'm good at and I believe as a rule that the world needs more conscientious contributors.

It certainly doesn't need any more CEO's of Nothing!

NSPCC FACEBOOK CAMPAIGN...

I don't know how official this campaign is but it's nothing to change your profile picture to a cartoon in order to show solidarity!! 

I saw it on someone elses status 

Change
your facebook profile picture to a cartoon character from your
childhood and invite your friends to do the same . until monday (6
december) there should be no human faces on facebook but an invasion of
childhood memories . this is a campaign to stop violence against
......children by the NSPCC ! ♥

and thought why not eh!? Sounds like fun!

I picked Hong Kong Phooey still!!

Although, I was very tempted to draw for the 

 

Bloo from Fosters Home for imaginary friends (Original Badman ttkk)

But then again, there are soo many to choose from!!!

Anyways, if your not participating...

I wish genital pneumonia upon you and hope you get varicose veins in your face you ill for your obvious ignorance!

I'm a i'm a Thinker, I don't read magazines, I READ SOYINKA!!!

That's what's really good! 

And I tell you this..

Wole Soyinka has got bars! Let me just quote at random 

. . . You cyst, you cyst, 

you splint in the arrow of arrogance,

the dog in dogma, tick of a heretic,
the tick in politics, the mock of democracy,

the mar of marxism, a tick of the fanatic,

the boo in buddhism, the ham in Mohammed, 

the dash in the crisis-cross of Christ,

a dot on the I of ego, an ass in the mass,
the ash in ashram, a boot in kibbutz,

oh how dare you raise your hindquarters you dog of dogma

and cast the scent of your existence on the lamp-post of Destiny, 

you HOLE IN THE ZERO OF NOTHING.

Say Niente

Anyways, I'm gonna pick out a book to read from the 'Family Library' and I'll do a review or something like that. 

It would be nice to build up a little reading list here or something.

My Roti...

 

Has to be Daal.... ARE YOU MENTAL!?!

I'll fly the till and beat up the chef like... NAH!!!

 

SHOW ME THE LENTILS!!!!

Are you on cheap drugs!?!?!

and if I can't afford the meal, I'll go DENTAL!!

Rioting Season!?

I do believe I may have stepped into a parallel universe...

How is it that the 'ConDem' government continue to take giant scissors (scissors seemingly crafted of the smelted silver spoons of many a toff ) to the budget of this country, ultimately tearing up the finances of the have nots??

How is it that at the same time as we hear of a royal wedding (or two) looming...

Will looks like he's got that Kush

The rest of my peer group (and those that fall into similar class/financial classification) are fighting...

so that they don't have to pay the cost of the generation before them.

Truly, it's not fair! The problems with the economy come from people who are (and still will be) ultimately better off! Whilst the media beams us images of the 'Royal heir to colonial bloodmoney and ill-gotten gains' happily gallivanting around,

We are fighting not to be at the rough end of 

the 'City of God style dystopian future' that is promised to us...

One things for sure, we as a generation won't take the par lightly... 

If it comes to a fight we won't pull our punches,

We will fight not to have our inheritance taken.

From the moment I heard the hug a hoodie campaign I made sure I only bought ones with zip pockets, David Camerons a thief. Bless, I'm out!!

vi veri veniversum vivus vici

I just watched V for Vendetta, and I must inform you that it has lost neither poignancy nor potency since the last time I saw it.

In the stead of an increasingly large amount of scare-tactic orientated government rhetoric, it does feel more and more like the ConDem's are attempting to manipulate us. Personally, I never trusted David Cameron, the whole "hug a hoody" campaign, since then I've made sure my hoodies have zip pockets, and the word 'conservative' has become synonymous with 'thief'.

In my experience, someone with so many sticky-fingered tendancies and such an obviously forked tongue should be monitored very closely. 

You never know what he's gonna try next!

Anyways, here goes that V for Vendetta speech...

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. 

The only verdict is vengence; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Easily distracted...

 

Nuff said :*

Hangtite TFL...

The employee's over there are striking from tonight and throughout tomorrow.

Although they aren't able to give a full and comprehensive idea of how many service's will be disrupted, 

here is the information they did share online -

Tube strikes are BS, from time them lot are paid Noiicely - it's a 'BALE FACE' ting

I was considering getting up to BrainLokk MC's radio show, 

but West Ham to Harrow is peak at these times lol!

I will update with any more news as it comes in!

Lily Allen...

Our thoughts go out to you at this time.

It's hard enough being in the spotlight especially at a time 'such as this',

so I really hope that her request for privacy is granted at this time.

Cherish Life people

Today is a Good day!

I just got a call on the 'BizzyPhone'...

 

 

(not this one)

(the 'mobile' one)

and I will say nothing more than 

things are looking up!

Bless!

Time Becomes a Vortex...

When your busy grinding. Quite often I'll be writing lyrics late or blogging into the night

Thing is I ain't even done yet, I started writing lyrics as a distraction from writing the funding application I have to finish way too soon. I'll see what time it is officially when my clock stops spinning, but at this point it's either a strong espresso or sleep. It'll probably be the bed, as coffee at this hour is ungodly, but who knows eh!

You people!!!

I don't like 'stability' per se. I loved working for my mum's youth project and Table Tennis coaching as a teen, but working didn't bring me happiness. The money was good and it was enlightening to work amongst people from outside of my own 'walk of life'. At the same time it quickly began to feel like some sort of guilded cage, the wages feeling increasingly like some contrived buy-out for my actual potential and less like payment for services rendered. I probably only worked as long as I did because temping made the boredom bearable. Nothing feels as 'epiphany forming' as some of the colleagues you may have out there in the administrative world.

All I saw was sad sights; a woman who at the age of 40 odd who is both beautiful and childless is a tragedy in my eyes, just as much as an 'old girl' from the age where you had one job for life trying to cling on to her employment. The amount of people my age who I met whilst working, who like me had ambitions and goals they had put on hold for the sake of stability.

I was really fortunate, I was dating a really ambitious girl at the same time my friend decided to go study medicine. That was the catalyst.

I decided there was NO WAY I was gonna work for somebody elses company, putting all of my energies into an organisation I had no vested interest in, ultimately to accumulate wages and spend them being adorned with 'the respected names of other people' and likewise pieces of respectable material possesions. Pass.

I don't have to make sense to you... Lord knows none of you people make sense to me.
I'm never fully content so I try to get more, I'm greedy, I haven't got a conceited sense of entitlement and it's not money I define success by.
I know myself, therefore I know I could be better at 'being me'. I'm only ever trying to out-do 'BizzyDot'.