It's not a Par...

Honestly, We actually like Cher Lloyd.

From the 1st auditions on Tv, we saw that she was clearly innovative and talented enough to build a career. Its probably more that we hate the X-Factor and its ability to make anything seemingly legitimate look like some contrived abomination. It's probably got a lot to do with the judges too..

Louis Walsh: I myself find you akin to some smiling 'groomer' for some Paedophile Ring. You make my skin crawl whilst watching the show, you more so than any factor are the reason this is the 'Cringe Factor'.

Cheryl Tweedy: Why does everybody look like you?? Joe McElderry does, Cher Llyod does!?!? Awoh di buckside (what the hell)!? Anyways, I don't rate you. I know baaaare dudes that would try take you Nando's, that's there ting init, I wouldn't offer you a chip luvvy. Give 'Ash' back his Surname already.

Dannii Minogue: Are you serious! What have you done!?! I won't pretend I dunno who you are - by virtue of the fact I never fancied Kylie, you're still aesthetically my favourite Minogue. But that doesn't make you current, hard working or relevant Luvvy. Gweh!! We don't really care about Kylie, this is the Grime Scene - there is only one 'Kylea', and he's 'Il Padrino' for this place.

Simon Cowell: However, is a next ting...

most MC's would pass on going up against Simon Cowell. I'm sure any verse spat by this man (whether Grime or Rap) would be FIIYAH...
Think about it! I reckon if anyone could get dude to do an F64 for SBTV (or is that an 'X64'?), i'm sure it would be differently epic.

Imagine...

"Don't pretend that your factors X

bye, bless! any next actor... NEXT

same ting! see chumps like u lot daily

cabaret singers will not make d grading

simon 3 stacks, i'm a millionaire

Don King inna dis music ting

nah, no rings or silly hair

make my money of singing yh

but i dont sing, naaah

i just par, n sit in chairs

thats pimp, thats gangster

u will get took for a burke, Alexandra

didn't sign tinie tempah, had a tantrum

then found Cher Lloyd, gangster!

better tell them urban kids

i'm there for that cash blad!"

Disclaimer: I don't think Simon Cowell can 'actually' spit bars, but it would be funny, no?

:*
*Edit* 
Even Jay Kay says he's not a fan... and he's a Legend, dude practically invented 'the Hat'. 

Ciao! Arrivederci, Nicolo!! Prossima Volta eh...

Bye bye, Nicolo! Truth is you were set up to fail. X-factor isn't a popularity contest and you just got proof that although some may find her charming (I personally find her akin to 'Botox' somehow, comparable to paint drying in HD) i'm sure we are unanimous in the opinion she is out of her depth with this competion.

Watching her toy with the creative potential of the young and talented is a tad painful, she reminds me of Dee Dee from Dexters Lab, going "Ooh! what does thiis buuton doo!?!" with peoples lives. I mean come on... Nicolo singing Lady GaGa... behave luvvy, Dazzapar lol. From time we know man can sing, its a farcical ting... nobody wants to see man doing them neck movements, Long it lol sorry Nic' but Danii real did you 'niente' in the way of favours.

Once again Xfactor is a Myth

Myth Factor

I like being Bizzy Dot, I think he’s bless init. Alas, it seems unfortunately that fate has conspired to rob me of this luxury, for today as I emerged from the smoke, I felt it necessary to be someone else. Today, for the sake of honesty and moral decency, I must be Jeremy Kyle. Although such a position carries risks such as projectile letters spinning mans wig (if you ain’t seen the vid...), it must be done.



It’s actually pretty simple; I have both a Lie Detector test and a DNA test, which I must conduct.

This isn’t going to be easy. But bothing that really has to be done ever is. I've been watching CSI episodes back to back, scribbling ideas on a notepad, under the scruffily written title "How to obtain DNA samples..." number one on my list is to infiltrate the terrorist cell http://twitter.com/CherylsSoldiers ... it did dawn on me that it was strange for a female pop artist to have such troops... do grime artists even have 'soldiers'... street teams and crews maybe, but an army (i'm sure thats what you call a gathering of numerous soldiers) wow. If need be I will have to play dirty...

 I know what you're thinking... 'Play Dirty' ( http://www.kreptandkonan.com/ ) isn't my job. But i'm so haunted one question. Is Cheryl Cole...

 

   somehow related to, or even the mother of...

 

Cher Llyod!?!?! I should really hope so, because other than that, I am left with two other possibilities:

A) She is a racist! The same Cheryl 'Tweedy' who put that Tempa T sh*t on a bathroom attendant and was said to have made a discriminative remark at the same time, holds prejudice in her heart, and only didnt punch Will-I-Am in his boat because of the height difference.

I should really hope that its 'A', because 'B' is...

B) She is Choopid!! And whilst making a move that a lot of people (including the grime scene) can understand, she also made a judgement and credibility faux pas in picking the contestant with lesser raw talent, off the back of a failed audition (in a competition where in theory you're only as good as your last performance) out of nothing perceivable other than favouritism.

Either way I don't think such a clear cut case of "Nehh!! Dazzapar fam!!!" is good for the brand. Once again you've proved yourself to be the 'Myth-Factor'. No more more 'X', No excitement, no expectation... Just Myth.